The Right Thing to Do

Part 27 in a series by Karen A. Stevenson, President, Studio K Salon

What is the ‘right’ thing to do? 

When you question yourself, or others about integrity,  honesty, or judgment, do you base it on your own personal guideline and rulebook?  Do you have some sort of ethical code you use?  How do you know when someone has done the so-called ‘right’ thing?

Some people would claim they do the ‘right’ thing, however, according to another’s personal measuring stick, their ‘right’ thing was not so right. What is your point of reference regarding right and wrong?  Do you just dream it up?  Does it come from your family of origin and family’s belief system?  Does it measure according to a higher power?  Peers and co-workers?  How are there different levels of morals, values, ethics, honor, trust, integrity and trust? 

Maybe it is more colorful to have a wide variance of understanding of what a good or right thing is. 

Perhaps if we all had the same level, we’d  be bored and intentionally cause chaos in greater areas.  I would like to see what it felt like to live in a world where a sales person had an appointment at two in the afternoon and actually show up at two and not two thirty.  How about if someone told you the car you recently purchased had a replaced fender when the dealer told you it had never been in an accident?  I long for the day when someone tells me an item is low carb, and it truly is low carb and didn’t have the high fat content to make up for the low carb-ness. 

People claim they are fat when they are not fat, and they are angry when they are hurt.  Some people claim they give an honest day’s work yet do their bills, talk on the phone with friends run personal errands during work hours, and take an extra long lunch.  Advertisers claim they are voted the ‘best’ when actually it was a self nominated and appointed title. We are told the payment is low interest and the part where the person has fifteen hoops to jump through, fees to pay, and the credit score has to be over 750 in order to qualify was left out.   What about the  ‘A’ made on a test when the answers were memorized from the stolen test the night before?

Parents tell their children they are not drinking alcohol, when they have rum and coke in their glass, passing it off as just coke ‘but they can’t taste it’.  Mothers tell their daughter to ‘not tell dad’ she just purchased another pocketbook.  A grandparent sneaks through a medicine cabinet and tells their grandchild to ‘not tell mom and dad’. 

Embezzlement comes when employees steal stamps from the office to mail their JC Penny credit card payment, skim an extra $3 from the till, or don’t pay for the items they used or ate off the shelves. 

Reckless parenting, conversations overheard, hedging on little things, are all invitations to our children that dishonesty is acceptable. 

We teach our children to lie in all sorts of subliminal ways.  “Tell them we’re not home”, “We sent our payment out last Wednesday”, and “We only have $5.00 for the tithe” are all teaching the same thing.  That it is alright to white lie, to hedge on truth, and to not be honest. 

Some people “hedge” at the expense of others.  Some ‘hedge’ to protect themselves.  Advertisers ‘hedge’ to bring more customers.  Is it all based on perception?  Is it intentional?  Has it become the common everyday behavior of people?  Is it truly as acceptable to all as it pours out on our daily lives minute by minute or are we tired and exhausted from reading between all the ‘hedging’? 

How curious it seems to be that we all complain when the ‘hedging’ happens to us, and we are not the ‘hedgor’ (did I make that up?).  We have a victim feeling when we have been ‘hedged’.  If we all kept hedge-o-meters on our waste, how many times would we be zapped for the exact behavior that we complain about when we’ve been on the receiving end?

Next time you manipulate the truth, or display behavior of not so honest, not so full of integrity, not so pure judgment, how about doing a little zap of your own?  Who have you just disappointed?  Is it only yourself?  Is it a friend?  A boss, a co-worker?  A little innocent child that watches with bright eyes as you display the shining example of trustworthiness?  How familiar are you with the behavior of ‘hedging’ on things?  Does it bother you?  Are you so numb to it that it never bother’s you?  What level on your own measuring stick to you find yourself?