How do others perceive you?

Part 40 in a series by Karen A. Stevenson, President, Studio K Salon

What level of self-esteem do you project?  Are you the type of person that looks confidently in the eyes of the interviewer for your next job?  Do you project a ‘familiar’ demeanor that seems to appear comfortable, honest, and centered?  Do you walk into a room of strangers as if you have a reason for being there?  Is your smile warm wherever you are?  How comfortably do you project yourself? 

You’d be surprised how many people avoid eye contact, look down toward the floor, are even afraid to look at themselves in the mirror.  What causes such lack of self-confidence?  What exactly are they hiding from?

No matter if your parents have criticized you all your life, or if you’ve been humbled by a cruel crowd, there comes a time when you have to make the decision to be aware of how you project yourself. 

We all wear our baggage of life’s up’s and downs on our back like a burden of bricks.  Let’ face it, life is difficult.  The question is, are you going to let it defeat you, or are you going to concur it?  Hopefully, you answered with the later.  You certainly don’t want to walk around the rest of your life with the shrugged rounded shoulder look that screams that you have been beaten.  It’s a game of winning or losing.  You either win by enjoying life, and accepting what comes your way with the attitude of ‘make it or break it’ or you become disheartened with life and walk around depressingly shuffling your feet as if they are weighted with concrete.                         

Projecting healthy self-esteem comes with feeling good about yourself.  It comes with a feeling of joy, inner peace, and knowledge.  The more you have a positive attitude, the easier it is to take life’s twists and turns and create an adventure.  How difficult can it be to look at people and convey a sense of kindness, compassion, understanding and acceptance?  What level do you place on other people?  Do you perceive they are better than you?  Do you perceive they are lesser than?  What about perceiving people like they are equal?  We are all people.  We all have families, hurts, happiness, struggles, and hardships.  If we walk through our life accepting others, we certainly will have reciprocating acceptance.  If we walk through life with compassion, don’t you think you’ll get compassion in return?   Equally so, if you are judgmental, you will be judged.  If you are angry, you’ll get short temper in return. 

Have you ever felt so insecure that you stumbled all over your words, your ideas, even stumbled on the carpet as you were attempting to look ‘cool’ and ‘confident’?  Have you ever psyched yourself to the point of having an adrenaline rush and thus absolutely ruined your public statement?  It is all in your own mind.  You have psyched your own self into this tizzy. 

Talk to yourself.  The moment you feel the sinking level of insecurity or adrenaline rush,  ask yourself ‘what in the WORLD are you doing???”.  Tell yourself how ridiculous it looks, and then tell yourself to QUIT the behavior that is going to inevitably cause you your downfall.    Realize the more you allow yourself to be thrown into the level of lack of self confidence, the more people around you are going to sense your nervousness. 

Why is it some people can stand in public and speak to a crowd and other’s freeze up?  Self talk.  That is the answer.  Self-talk can obliterate how you feel about yourself in the blink of an eye.  What are you saying to yourself?  What are you projecting outwardly?  Can you remove your inner feelings from your body and see what you are looking like?  Are you looking calm, confident, at ease with yourself?  Are you looking like you are convicted with what you are about to say?  Are you certain of yourself?  If so, then there is no reason to be feeling insecure.  On the contrary, you are passionate about the subject.  You are passionate about your job interview.  Passionate about ‘who you are’.  Take a moment and realize these things.  Take a deep breath.  Re-program and gain composure.  Your self-esteem will make or break an interview.  The only person you are fooling is yourself.  Others believe in you.  Isn’t it time that you start believing in yourself?