What is the meaning of life?

Part 48 in a series by Karen A. Stevenson, President, Studio K Salon

My teenage daughter will be attending four funerals this week.   That is not a type-o.  I definitely wrote four.  Sadly, she’s been to four other funerals in slightly over one year’s time.  That would make a total of eight funerals in slightly over one year for my 17-year-old daughter.  Only one of those funerals was a relative.

This week, her funeral attendance will be for four teenage boys, thus four individual families dealing with their losses.  Unbelievable numbers for someone so young.  Yet, when I talk to her about the devastating event, she doesn’t seem to connect with the “bottom line”.

So, what is the “bottom line”?  In my own personal opinion, which anyone can toss into the wind, I feel the bottom line is “choices”.  Choice and ability to say the words “yes”,” no”, “not today”, “I don’t think so”, “I really can’t”,  “I am not comfortable with that”, or any other sentence that indicates responsibility for safety, well being, mature judgment, common sense, health, sense of right or wrong, or with any decent level of morals, values, or integrity. 

That was quite a mouthful; I am aware, however, ponder that paragraph for a moment or two.  What exactly is going on in today’s standards of ‘normal’? 

Not only do I claim to be a PHD (Professional Hair Dresser), but I also claim my Hair Chair Analyst shingle.  Today, I suppose I am on my soapbox about the reality of the decline of what our teens seem to be calling ‘normal’.  When I can write that my teenage daughter is now going to her eighth funeral, seven of which are teens her own age, I tend to wonder what in the world is going on with these kids? 

Of course I am not saying ‘all’ teens have this terrible lack of information about what is considered proper choices, but I am saying there is a strong lack of judgment of what is right or wrong. They seem fairly indifferent about morals and values.  They are more accepting of the ‘gray’ area of life.   Thus, because of the acceptance that “all teens drink”, it is accepted that fellow students in school will die of terrible car accidents.  Because they are more accepting that teens are into drugs, they are more accepting of the end result of a drug deal gone wrong. Because they are accepting of MySpace.com and that “all teens” write Blogs on such sites, there are sexual predators waiting to catch our unsuspecting teen off guard. Because why?  In their perceptions, “All teens do this!” 

Gray areas in my personal dictionary are when someone chooses to ‘get away’ with something that is questionable.  For instance, using a radar detector in an automobile when you wouldn’t need one if you were actually obeying the law and truly going the speed limit, or thinking it’s okay to drink under age just because teen’s do this sort of thing.   

For those of you without a teen, or haven’t watched Dateline NBC lately, Blogs are on a website such as Myspace.com  that has pictures of themselves, and  personal information more private than a diary I ever hand wrote.  They display all sorts of personal information, comments, everything from their favorite foods, to what they did last weekend at a party.  These blogs oftentimes exhibit teens drinking from a beer bong, or a bunch of teens sitting on top of each other with their alcohol drinks and cigarettes, and adding comments under the pictures about how ‘hot’ the guy is. 

I suppose in their perception, this is all in fun and games.  Yes, I realize we were all teens once.  But yet, in this day and age where the Internet is by far more superior and threatening than any magazine we had.  Blogs are more public than any diary we ever wrote, teens are more daring than we were ever allowed.  It’s very concerning when funerals of our precious teens are becoming a common event.

How did teen’s and their ability to make wise choices decline to this?  I am ‘choosing’ to not mention how all these teens passed away.  Yet, rest assured, not a one of these were where someone unfairly ‘did to them’.  Each of these teens accidents my daughter has attended and will attend this week were due to some choice about responsibility and lack thereof. 

Is this decline due to too many two-parent incomes and not enough parent time?  Did it break down because of lack of communication?  Is there some expectation that we have as parents that our teens will figure it out themselves without our proper guidance?  I suppose that is a whole other article.

Knowing my daughter is more aware of funeral home locations than I am, is a bit concerning.  Just this afternoon she asked if she could go to a questionable event this Saturday night.  When I asked her why she even asked if she could go to this event, she replied, “Because, it’s a teenager’s job to ask and see how much we can get away with, isn’t it?”