Lessons of Life

Part 52 in a series by Karen A. Stevenson, President, Studio K Salon

Have you ever heard the cliché “I am a student of life”?  If so, how in depth have you thought about those words?  What does it mean to be a student of life? 

Certainly being a ‘student of life’ means learning as you go.  We learn anything from eating baby food to chewing regular adult food.  We learn about nature and how things grow if we plant a seed and water and fertilize it.  Of course we learn to walk, talk, laugh, and cry.  Yet, in the midst of learning those basic lessons, how many of us learn deeper skills? 

I am not talking about kindergarten to high school, nor am I talking about college or trade school.  I am talking about lessons of life that people can oftentimes ignore unintentionally, or choose to ignore because it means more stretching, learning, admitting we’ve not ‘arrived’ and good old basic WORK.

For instance, how often do you see a person in a grocery line that may be portraying body language that is screaming their impatience and dissatisfaction that someone ahead of them is taking too long?   Possibly the cashier is new, or struggling with her pace, and the mere folding of arms and rolling of eyes gives away their intentional advertisement of frustration?

Have you ever seen someone waiting in a long line of traffic due to an unknown source, yet their horn is honking,  fists are flailing in the air, as you witness them shake their head in anger? 

What about ‘out of control’ arguments where jealousy is the root, and the display of raised voices, accusations, denials, deceit and mockery is clear?

Lessons can be impatience, anger, control, body language, thinking negatively or hyper critically of people.  They can be that the world doesn’t actually revolve around you in selfishness, it is sacrifice rather than ‘me, me, me!’  Lessons certainly can be learning compassion for others, or recognizing how different we all are, and embracing that rather than trying to make mini-clones of ourselves.  Envy, snooping, minding other people’s business, judgmentalism,  stretching the truth, even outright lying.

Lessons can also be learning to be kind to people you otherwise would mock, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and understanding that each person has their own challenges in life, and no one is perfect, nor will they ever be.  Lessons can be how you word things so that they are uplifting rather than demeaning.  There are lessons as an employee to ‘give your best’ for your superiors and gaining satisfaction that you’ve accomplished a ‘job well done’ even if it is unrecognized.   Lessons can be managing employees with positive and forward thinking skills rather than managing by taking away and negativity. 

There are lessons in getting things accomplished by ‘killing’ people with kindness instead of yelling, screaming, and lashing out.  Seeing the goodness in people rather than looking for their faults.  Treating people as you would wish to be treated.  

There are communication skills of learning to speak from the heart rather than always from your head.  There are skills in learning your own feelings rather than suppressing them and denial.  Lessons in giving rather than taking.  Not being in someone’s space too much.  Learning the differences in people, even your own family members and treating them with respect of their differences.  There are people that have to learn they can’t be super dad, or super mom.  Lessons in forgiveness, letting go of any bitterness, acknowledging when you feel fear.  Lessons in self control, whether it be eating too much, or addictions to unproductive things on the internet. 

Learning there is only true joy when you do the ‘right’ thing.  There are big lessons in integrity, listening skills, interpreting things in the context in which they were meant rather than in the context in which you chose to filter them.  Not ‘stretching truth’ in order to look important.  Lessons in learning that if you try to conceal a behavior that you’ve not yet grown in, that other people that HAVE in fact learned those lessons are probably seeing right through your immaturity and accepting you anyway. .

Lessons in taming your high highs….and your low lows.  Lessons in perseverance in all circumstances.  Lessons that you must journey through life one way or another, and it is by far better to journey through it in a lovely, eloquent way rather than in a harsh and negative way. 

We all choose our roads.  Each day we have the ability to make choices.  We choose to order the food we consume at the drive through window, we choose to be kind or negative to people.  We choose our body language, choose our conversations, listening skills, choose, choose, choose.  Our days are endless with the amazing amount of choices. 

Yes it takes work to learn the lessons of life.  Yet if you choose to not learn those lessons, we’ll repeat the mistakes again, and again, and never graduate to the next level.  In choosing to not move forward in our lessons of life, we tend to grow stale, festering in our seat in the classroom of life, and seething that life is passing us by.  Sadly, we have to recognize that the very reason there is stale life is because we actually ‘chose’ that as well.

So, bottom line.  Isn’t it time to make new decisions?  If you have been an honor roll student, doing your homework and moving forward in your lessons, Congratulations!  That is awesome and it is commendable.  If you recognize that you have lessons to learn, possibly it is time to embrace these lessons, do the homework, and start moving forward to a better place. 

Truly, when you embrace these things in life, you will feel an inner joy of success that not only you benefit from, but so do those around you.  Your happiness slowly but surely breaks through your sadness.  Your joy breaks through your depression.  Your frustration turns into satisfaction.  Your lack of being content turns into peace.